


Novalis vs Zombis

by Meridae



Series: Celestials vs Zombis [1]
Category: In Nomine, Plants vs Zombies
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Random - Freeform, Weirdness Alert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-19
Updated: 2013-10-19
Packaged: 2017-12-29 21:21:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1010247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meridae/pseuds/Meridae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone gave Novalis Plants vs Zombies. She tests it out on a Death Tether. Disturbance ensues. Armageddon almost ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Novalis vs Zombis

The Virtue's eyes bugged out of his head. "...Ah, Archangel?"

Novalis looked up from her newest garden. "Yes, dear?"

The Malakite fidgeted. "Er, Archangel, I'm not sure that's what the game was supposed to inspire..."

Novalis chuckled. "So?" And she patted the adorable little peashooter on the head. "Now, do you know where a Death Tether is?"

The Malakite bowed his head in defeat. "Yes, Archangel... I can say with certainty that they will not be expecting this."

The peashooter smiled with its pea-shaped mouth.

  
\----------------------------------------------------

  
The Death Tether was busy. Calabim were streaming up from the lower locus, along with some Djinn and Habbalah. Demonlings were also coming up in droves. And then everyone got out of the way, because Saminga was coming up the Tether.

Novalis swirled the miniature sun around in her hands for a moment. "Oh, wonderful! Now I have enough for... this!"

The Zombis that had been sent out to attack the garden that had sprung up around the Death Tether looked startled as a giant nut with eyes shot up from the ground.

  
\----------------------------------------------------

  
Saminga smiled as the wall-nut went down. He pointed to a nearby demonling. "You," the Prince of Death commanded, "Get me more Zombis."

"Right away, Dread Prince!" the demonling yelled, and it scurried off.

Saminga thought for a moment, and when the next Zombis were brought to him to be inspected and sent out, he jammed buckets onto their heads.

The demonling gaped for a moment, then bowed and ran to get more buckets.

Saminga shoved a sun-stealing relic into a mummy's hand. "Go," he commanded it.

And the next wave of undead approached Novalis's garden.  
Novalis sent another wall-nut out.

  
\----------------------------------------------------

  
  
Jean closed his eyes for a moment. The tiny manifestation in his drawer facepalmed. "I will be right there," he told the Mercurian.

Another manifestation of the Archangel of Lightning appeared nearby what appeared to be a cross between a jungle and a graveyard. There was Saminga's host, on the tower that had somehow been erected, and there was Novalis, frantically sending plants to stop the onslaught of... Zombis.

A peashooter sent a well-placed hit into the tower, bringing it down to crashing disturbance.

Jean facepalmed again. Of course.

  
\----------------------------------------------------

  
The Song rang out, covering the immediate area with Symphonic deafness. Jean considered the field for a moment, noting the Zombis approaching where Novalis stood with a lawnmower.

Several lightning strikes hit the field, to glares from both sides.

Then Janus and Valefor appeared, mere seconds apart. The strained Song tore apart, and disturbance clashed across the area.

Janus pulled up a potato, stuck a bomb in it, and flung it at a Zombi. Valefor grabbed a vaulting pole and handed it to another Zombi, which promptly used it to leap over a wall-nut... and right into a lawnmower.

Disturbance rang out yet again as yet another Superior manifested on the Corporeal. Kobal chuckled, and walked over to the sidelines where Jean was standing.

Kobal took out a CelPhone, and then Baal appeared, to everyone's dismay.

Baal looked at Saminga, who had once again managed to position himself on a tower, and walked over to start talking tactics.

By this time, quite a large number of angels and demons had gathered, and probably a few Ethereals as well. A lot of the more war-like Celestials were grabbing arms and armor. Novalis looked slightly peeved for a moment, and the weapons vanished. This was a good thing, as a just-then-appearing Michael found himself bereft of axe.

Michael and Baal glared at each other, then sighed and walked to the sidelines of the garden. There seemed to be consensus that this was not how they wanted to have Armageddon, and then ordered their respective Servitors back to the Celestial plane.

Jean looked at the garden, and decided that any concern for disturbance had gone out the window by that point. He sent a large number of Kyriotates to manipulate any sensors that could pick up electricity in the area, waited two minutes, and then there was no garden or Tether anymore. Instead, there was the smoking hole that resulted from a carefully Song-hidden lightning bolt of very large size.

The various Superiors on both sides gave each other looks. All but Baal and Kobal disappeared, Baal having to argue some with Saminga first.

Baal and Michael decided simultaneously that the battle no longer existing meant that leaving did not count as retreat.

Jean watched everyone leave, then turned to look at Kobal with his best Elohite-blandness.

Kobal disappeared.

Jean sighed and, in his manifestation in Heaven, sent several of his most discreet Servitors to go contact all the Grigori he knew about. It would not do to have all of them become Skulkers merely because a bad plan got out of hand.

Vapula appeared for a moment, then looked around and disappeared, seeing he was too late to escalate things or really see anything interesting happen.

Jean murmured to himself, "...I would not have thought that Novalis would come this close to starting Armageddon. And I must talk with whoever gave her that game."

In Heaven, one of the Flowers Malakim explained to Jean that their Archangel had, in fact, given the Death Tether a chance to repent.

Jean demanifested from the Corporeal, and rubbed his forehead. He sent a Celestial Tongues to Dominic.

And everyone was glad that nobody had managed to make a relic form of Plant Food.


End file.
